Thursday, July 1, 2010

The groom has seen the dress *gasp*…

I am so fed-up of people saying ‘it’s your wedding, do what you want’ and then giving us looks when they find out what we are doing. Sometimes I just want to yell at them a little. But I don’t. Maybe I’ll just go all passive aggressive with the non-married ones and give them ‘oh, you can’t seriously be doing that looks’ when their turn comes around. Seriously though, there’s only so much judgement I can take before I start thinking that maybe we are doing this all wrong.

In particular, I get sick and tired of the looks people give us when they ask or realise that Justin knows what my wedding dress will look like. He helped me pick out the pattern for it. He went fabric shopping me. He pinned me into the mock-up and took photos for me. He pinned me into the lining when we did a fitting for it. Hell, he even helped pin some of the lining to the interfacing. I’m sure there will be many more times he will be involved in the making of the dress too.

I just don’t understand what is so wrong with all of this. I get why the groom usually wouldn’t see the dress, but at the same time I don’t get why people can’t be open minded enough to at least consider the way we are doing things before passing judgement.

We were talking about it the other night, and we both think it’s more fun that we are both involved. It is fun going over to his Mum’s house and lend a hand where we can. We also feel that it even makes it a bit more special that he has been helping out with it.

Am I the only one that thinks that this whole groom seeing the dress thing isn’t the biggest no-no in the world of weddings?


  1. I completely agree with you about it not being a big deal at all if you don't want it to be - in fact I think that it's awesome that your fiance is involved with the dressmaking process! My friends were horrified when I said I was going to show a covertly taken photo of me in a dress I tried on (that I wasn't even going to buy) to The Boy, which utterly confused me. I think it's great for those who choose to follow that particular tradition, but don't think anyone has a right to judge if you choose not to follow it.

  2. I think everyone (YES YOU, FAMILY) needs to just accept that there are some things about the day that only affect the bride and groom. Such as, when they first see each other, what they feel comfortable sharing with each other during the planning, etc.

    There is no way that Paddy would want to see my dress before the day though. And I kind of want there to be a bit of mystery, too. I'd like to do a first look though, but he wouldn't be keen for that either.

  3. When I first tried on my dress (before I'd decided) in January, I'd showed a picture to my groom, along with a couple of other dresses though. He doesn't remember it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with him seeing it! I think it's lovely your groom is helping you with it!

  4. I got exactly those reactions when I said we weren't going to have a cake. People would say to me "YOUAREN'THAVINGACAKE?! but you have to have something to cut!" and I'd say "Why? What does cutting a cake symbolise?" to which they'd respond with blank looks and "ummmmm I dunno....." So now, whenever i get one of those looks about anything, I ask the lookee "why? What does that symbolise?" I think that would work in your situation too. And for the record, I think it's amazing that Justin is helping you make the dress you will marry him in. What could be more symbolic than that????


  5. Ignore other people; you have to do what you want so that you are happy with everything!

    Although I did not want my groom to see my dress; in fact only my sister, my mum, 2 aunts & the grooms sis saw my dress before the day; my other 4 bridesmaids didnt even see it until I had it on in the morning; which for me was the best way to do it; I loved seeing the look on his face when I got down the aisle.

    I think its so lovely that he is helping though!